And The Apple Said.

sometimes, i feel like im drowning sometimes
drowning in a see of my own madness
and yes, im so mad i spelled sea wrong
it feels like i keep trying to swim up
and the more i try
the further i sink
and my eyes feel like they'll explode
i cant cry
because im underwater
crying will just add the the water
to the depth of the madness im floating in
sinking in
i just want to close my eyes
and let the water take me where it must
but something keeps making me open them
and keep trying
keep crawling
maybe im crazy
maybe i should just close my eyes
and let it go
i can see myself bleeding in this water
the red mixing with the clear of the water
the sun shining at the horizon
the birds flying
i can only imagine what they sound like
what the people sound like
so happy
so content
seemingly perfect lives
with true smiles on their faces
i remember when that used to be me
but its too late for that
i fucked that up over two months ago
maybe i'll get that chance again?
will it ever be the same?
do i want it to be?
does he?
maybe it'll be better
knowing what its like to part
maybe it'll be worse
because we parted
either way
i've gotta try
gotta see what happens
i couldnt live with myself not knowing
and if that makes me a homewrecking bitch
then so be it
if it makes me pathetic
then that sme
if that makes me crazy
stick me in your padded room

"And The Apple Said, I'm Too Ripe To Be Your Bride, Go Talk To The Monkey Tree, He'll Be Your Ride"