Illusions

Head reeling
Mind boggled
Not sure which way is up or down
I close my eyes for two seconds
And my lids burn
I open them
And my pupil dilates
Shocked at the sudden light
The sudden pang of brightness
Not quite sure what to speak of
Or what not to speak of anymore
Disoriented?
To say in the least

~Maya~

All My Lovin'

Ants
Beatles
On Demand
Pause
Play
Stop
Go
Moms
Therapy
Pizza
Tears
Sparkling
Cider
Perfection.

~Maya~

And I Dont Know

Panic attacks
Chef Boyardee
Tears
Phone calls
Donuts
Strawberry fanta
Pills
Tears
Pain
Beds
Hugs
Tears
Love
Pain
Truths
Tears
Love.


"And I Dont Know, This Could Break My Heart, Or Save Me, Nothings Real, Until You Let Go, Completely"

~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~

Hm, maybe i am being a little more reserved than usual -shrug-
Either way
You arent helping anyway
Hardly anyone has been supportive of me
And when i try my hardest to keeep you sane
The second i make a mistake its all over
And i didnt even make a mistake
I fell in love
And acted upon it
If that is a mistake in your eyes
Then well, i think you need to get that checked

Anyway, i'm still close with those who are true friends
I dont know, eh, i should be more worried about my dwindling friend list than i am
But you know, im also making new friends
So it's pretty balanced
Eh

~Maya~

Oh Where

Why do i have this strange premonition that my perfect world
Is going to shatter?



Well. Fuck you premonition.
This is going to work. And i will make it.
I love you.
If so many people hate us, then well, that sucks for them
I care about everyone
But lately, my patience has been getting thinner and thinner
I cant care about what i dont know
So i dont understand how suddenly im some selfish bitch
But whatever
To each his own

"Oh Where Is My Hairbrush?"

<3

"Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I'm not around,
When I'm much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you"

Dear Robert,

The only thing i ask of you, is to hold me when im around
I dont like being far away
I shall be that person who will be true to you

Love,
~Maya~

The Silhouette Of Mandane

Sometimes i just dont know what to do with myself
I feel so imperfect
So flawed
And frankly
So dirty

I love you
So very much
But that little voice
The same one that tells me im shit
Seems to echo that you'll leave me
That you'll realize how much better you deserve
And with every word that voice utters
I dont know whether to cling tighter
Or let you go
I dont want to let go
Goodness knows i love you
I dont think i ever could
I know the pain that causes me
And you
I think i'll just cling tighter
And hope i dont
Cling the life out
<3

"The Silhouette of Mandane Speaks Deep Features and Emus"

Larry! The Strawberries!

Should there be a word to describe how perfect today was?
Cuz in my vocabulary
It doesnt exist

I wish i had known something this magical would happen
If i had
I would have waited
I wish i had
But i dont regret today
Oh god

I love you.

"Larry! The Strawberries! They're Going Bad! Go Get The Peroxide for Janna!"