In

I get a
Second
Third
Fourth
Chance

I
Cant
Wont
Refuse
To mess this up

Round and Round

Falling back into old habits
Some good
Some
Not
So
Much

Blogging
Writing
Reading
School

Men
Women
Drugs
Crazy

Oh man,
I'm a fun
Piece
Of work

Happiness

I'm happy
Im content
Let it stay this way
Pretty
Please

I hate to avoid
And ignore
And refuse

But
It works

It
Makes me
Feel better
Protects me from

Pain

And keeps me

Happy

Fy-A

So
Last night i was all
Blahblahblaghhhhhh
But now im all
DANCEPARTAYY

Is this right?
Psh
Probably not
Is it fun?
Hell yeahs

So fuck you
People

I'm gonna do what i
Want

Well then

Im just
Like
You

I did the
Same
Thing you
Did

Too me.

Great.

Karma? Deja Vu? Hypocracy?

I dont know which to
Call
This
Cant pick between
The
Two
(Like him
To her
and
I)

And now will
I
Do it to
You
and
Him
(Please
No)

I just dont want
To
Miss the
Possible
Opportunity
With
Him
But do I
Want
One
With
Him?

Notta

Of course
I have nothing
Special
To
Particularly
Say currently
However

I feel as
If
Something
Profound
and
Magically
Deep
Will just
Flow out of my
Body
Mind
Soul

And maybe
one
Day
It'll make

Magic

Mine?

Where's my
Happy ending?
My
Knight in
Shining Armor

When can I
Just
Let life
Happen

And it
Happen
Happily

When do i stop fighting
Fire
With fire
So that
I can
Stop being
Burned

I just wanna
Kiss
And
Be
Kissed
And not
Have to
Work
For the
Beauty
To come

Where is my
Beauty?

Eating

Is my way of
Fixing
My problems

Eating
Saves me from the
Pain
Of everything

Only when there's
No more
Food

Then it all comes
Flooding
Back

Flooding
Back
Fast

And i'm
Sick
To my
Stomach
With the
Pain
and the
Hurt

It wont go
Away

It wont stay
Away

Maybe I should
Go
Away

Shakespeare and Disco Music

My whole summer
Revolves
Around you
I'm about to quit
I
Hate
You right now
I'm sure tomorrow I'll
Wake
Up
And I'll love you
Again

Until then
Gr

The Usual

Typical
You
To do this to me

The
Usual
You
To send me
Spinning
Not knowing quite
Which
Way
I'm spinning

Not knowing until the
End
Of the
Ride

Which i thought was
Before
But apparently I was
Wrong.

Way
Wrong

Obsessed

Honestly
I dont think I've
Ever
Been so
Ridiculously
Obsessed
With someone

I dont know if
Its ridiculously
Unhealthy
Or it its
Fate

Of course
I hope the
Latter
But with my luck
It'll probably be the
Former

I hope you
Secretly
Stalk me as much as
I
"Secretly"
Stalk you

I hope you
Think
My eyes are as beautiful as
I
Know
Yours are

I hope this
Infatuation
Becomes something
Real

Fly

Its Early
Or Late

And I'm thinking
That its time for
The
Truth

Time for me to
Reflect
And
Figure out
Where and what i
Am

No more hiding
Behind
Other people

No more dependency
On
Other people

I'm tired of
Always
Falling
So
Hard

When I need to be
Flying
So
High

I can fly
On my
Own

I can fly
By
Myself

And once I'm
Flying

I can fly
Side
By
Side

With someone who
Loves
Cares
For me

I

Should seriously
Keep my
Mouth
Shut

I shouldn't have
Said
Anything

And now things
Will be
Extremely
Awkward

Camping?
Ocean city?
Myrtle beach?
Disco Inferno?

Not Quite, But Still, 4th

Oh look I
Started
With a
Number

Its actually a really
Significant
Number for right now
Four
People
Things
Places
Other Adjective-y words

Four

Not the Soda

I have lots of
Crushes

La Da Da Da, La Da Da Da, DaDaDa Da Da

If you can
Hear
Whats going on in my
Head
You'd smile like
Me

Anywho!
Should I say
Yes?
Should I go for
It?

Take the
Chance?
Some say yes
Some say no
But
In the end its
My
Choice

And I think
Deep Down
I know

New Plan

Stay away
From
Old
Ones

Haha
We'll see how
This
Goes

Shit

Fuck
I'm in
Love
With you
Aren't I

Well
Damn

This'll be
Fun

Another Fun One

Fun
Summer
Single
Partay?

Last time i
Partayed
It sucked

So!
I'll do it
Better?
This time

-nose scrunch-

had to happen
Sooner
or
Later

I'd been
Planning it
Out

Didnt go as
Planned

But
Whatever

Hello again

Hi
Its me
Computer back
Where to start

Boyfriend
Yay
or
Nay?
I dunno
He's an a-hole
But he can be sweet

I would describe the other
Two
But
Thats too
Private

Plays
Plays
Plays
Constantly at that
Playhouse
But I
Love
It

Gotta find a
Job

Suspension

Well..
Five days out
Lots to think
About
So fucking
Screwed

Woot!

NeonViolation 11:00 pm
(11:00:10 PM): MAAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Mayachemgrl 11:00 pm
(11:00:22 PM): yes
NeonViolation 11:00 pm
(11:00:35 PM): You're cool sauce :D


i am documenting this moment

Me and You

We had a
Good talk
Last night
That reassured
Me about our
Relationship

Hurray for
Talks
I like when we can
Talk
And just
Talk
About anything
And
Everything

I like that we
Talked
About sensitive
Stuff
And it didnt
Kill
The mood of
Us
Together

Working

Stupidface
I want you to
Go away
Because everytime I
See
You
I just fall harder
For
You

And that aint
Working
For me right
Now
Or
Ever.

Is this really all
My
Fault?

Im sorry.

Moving on Back

Stupid old
Feelings
Stay away from
Me

Let me go and
Forget
How I felt
So I can
Move
On.

Family.
Drama.
Cant
Handle.
Dont
Want to.
Great.

Pretend

If I
Pretend
To smile
Eventually
It'll become real

If I
Pretend
Everythings okay
Eventually
It'll become real

I used to think
This was
Bullshit
But maybe its
Not

Today I
Realized
Something
Maybe I should
Just
Pretend

Maybe if I
Stop
Caring about so many
Things
Then it'll be
Better

Heh

Boom
Boom
Boom


Did you see that?
Did you hear that?

Boom
Boom
Boom

That was that girl
That girl
Maya?

Yeah her
That's the girl
Her life just exploded

Spontaneous
Combustion

Is what just happened



Boom.

Wow

Well then
Maybe I shouldnt
Have
Oopsie
Probably a not so smart
Idea

>.>

Eats Ma Feets

In tech
Patrick
And Oscar
Oscar's being useless
Patrick is
"Going back to work"
Psh right
He's actually staring at ma
Beeeeeautiful-ness

Ah ha
Ha
Ha
Ha
nope.

Oscar's watching me
Write
This
Here comes sofia!
Hi sofia
How're you
Yessir this is what we
Do
In tech
"Class"

Byebye Blog!


"Eats Ma Feets because I Eats Your Tee....ths?" -it ryhmes i swear-

DINGDINGDING!

Next to the ring:
Maya's Heart
VS
Maya's Logic

DINGDINGDING

BEGIN!!!

Who's gonna win?
Logic's putting up a good fight!
OOOH
Look at that punch
"Pain"
"Manipulation"

Whoooa
How's the heart gonna beat that one?
WOW WHAT A SHOT!
"Happiness"
"Trust"

My goodness this is gonna be quite the fight!
"Anger"
"Devotion"
"Sadness"
"Amazing"
"Beauty"
"Fantastic"

Blow
After
Blow
After
Blow

We have a winner.

Confidence

Finally
Starting to gain
A little of it

Confidence

Its hard in the
Beginning

But luckily
It eventually
Comes

Slow and steady
Thats what im doing
Right now

I'm hoping to keep it
That
Way

Things dont go as
Well
As I'd like them too
When I
Rush
Things

I rushed everything
Else

And this is one thing where
I
Vow to keep my
Patience

And hopefully that works in
My
Favor

Here's to
Confidence

If's

So many
What ifs
If this happened
If that happened
Its natural
Really it is
We all have insecurities
We all have fears
What makes us strong
And courageous
Is our ability to
Overcome our fears
To look them in the face
And tell them
Shut
The
Fuck
Up.

Because if we keep looking at the what ifs
In the
Future
How can we enjoy that ares
In the
Present

I know I have my problem
I know I sometimes
Need to think about the
Consequences
Of my actions
But that doesnt mean
Im going to let my fears
Keep me down
I'd much rather just act
Then sit in a corner and be
Terrified

I just told this to her
And I'll say it now

There is a difference
Between
Intuition
and
Insecurities

One protects
The other
Holds you back

I'd rather get hurt twenty years from now
Then hide right now
I'll enjoy life
And have a good time

So suck it.

Simple

Oh my
Happy
=]

Parrrrtayyyy

Partay-ed Today!
Shannons
Taras
Selwyns
CAKE!
Total fun stuffs =]

Up down Up down

That is how you make me feel
But there are lots of ups
Just big downs
But -shrug-
Who cares
I's having fun
=]

Supposed to be..

Im supposed to be
Adjusting
And im Supposed to be
Getting used to it
But I dont wanna
I wanna yell
And scream
And i want to do so
Without risking my relationship
These are my requests
Is it too much to ask
For a guy who will allow you to yell
And scream
And be a bitch
Who wont be angry afterwards?
Please let me know if im being unreasonable
Actually dont let me know
I might eat your toes.

I Never Knew You

Listening to this song
Makes me feel crazy
But at the same time
Like I'm not the only one
Who thinks these thoughts
When they see someone
Walking down the street
Maybe I'm a psychopath
Maybe I'm homicidal
But all i know is
SOmetimes I see you walking down the street
And can imagine my
Obsession
Affection
Its like
Love
Only sinister
Because I dont want you
But no one else can have you.
You're too good for everyone else
I know this from our first incounter
An incounter of the deadly kind
Im just too much of a chicken to actually do anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" You're always dying inside that much closer to home
On a crowded street corner surrounded by people all alone
Pain in the heart, rain in the dark, the womb is glum and bitter
She walks around the corner, it's like she brought the sun with her
Then everything just brightened up, I couldn't make this up
My fingers in my eyes as she walked by like I was waking up
And so many words, I couldn't string a sentence together to bother her
I instantly forgot all my plans and started to follow her

It's like the sky opened and God handed you directly to me
I know it sounds crazy but so is life, I'm sinking
And feeling like your heart is beating solely for me

Your legs are long and toned, you must be walking home
I love the way your lips move when you're talking on your phone
Intoxicating, truly? impurities
Plague every thought of you while I'm trailing you like you're security
Lost, we couldn't know our paths would cross but time knew it
Feet sticking out the window, a opportunity climbing through it
Pain for sale, looking to find a new taker
Chance to speak blown, when you looked at me I looked in the newspaper

Because the sky opened and God handed you directly to me
I know it sounds crazy but so is life, I'm sinking
And feeling like your heart is beating solely for me

I'm miles out of my way, creepy, I want more
Was gonna turn back but you stuck your key in your front door
I'm standing across the street, stars that aligned us to meet
Standing outside with your trash feeling incomplete
My finger aching for your doorbell like a random blog
Instead I lurk outside in the cold like an abandoned dog
Perish the thought, you should cherish the words that I got in my mouth
The only words that can truly explain how I got in your house

Because the sky opened and God handed you directly to me
I know it sounds crazy but so is life, I'm sinking
And feeling like your heart is beating solely for me
Unlikely, impossible, I couldn't dream to think it
There's something happening between us you can't deceive
I'm so in over my head I've learned to breathe in it
Your eyes are screaming and you're saying no baby to me
If there was a way out I think you would've taken it
My hands and arms are the only way that you can leave
Face to face for the first time, you feel what I'm feeling
Selfishly no longer breathing because of me"

~I Never Knew You by Cage

Ohohohohhh

Today is auditions
Song that means lots to me
Hope i can show that
And not absolutely kill it

Am

Hm
I dont really know what to say
I feel empty
But not in a bad way
Just in a..
Empty way
Im not happy
Im not sad
I just am
-nods-

To Stupid face:

I hate you

Intro to Stupid face

Stupid face says:
Yes
-i do fall to hard for people to fast-
Because you NEED to have someone you've fallen for
Its easier to think about other people than yourself

Well Stupid face you have yet to tell me whether
That makes my feelings are any less genuine
Simply because it happened faster

I dont think so
Just because it happened faster
Doesnt make me feel any different
Its how i feel
Just not as slow as others go
So shush Stupid face
Noone asked you anyway -_-

Me? Who is Me?

Is a jealous
Whiny
And
Needy
Girlfriend

You will figure this out soon

I'm Happy

Today was a good day
Yessiree doodle
I just thought i'd share this with the rest of the blogger world
Please continue along your normal blogger ways
No biggy
Unless you're me
Than its a biggy -nods-

Ode To Puking

Puking is icky
Unless its juice.
Then sometimes
Its quite tasty.

-bows-

Thank you, thank you!

Blahblahblah

Drama drama everywhere
Drama drama i dont care
Drama drama you're so fake
Drama you should masturbate!

=]

Days Like These

I take a left turn
Instead of a right
You all hate me for it
Well get over it
I'm left handed.

Now I realize who really is my friend.

Hehe

=]
I like you

Huh

I feel good
Feel free
Feel relieved
Im content with life
Good things may come later
But things are going good

=]

Accepting

Im supposed to be doing this thing
Call accepting
And dealing
And moving on
But I dont think I'm ready for that
So until then
I'll continue hoping
And wishing
And wanting
Honestly
When did those things become so...
Bad?

Change

Painful
Wonderful
Unwanted
Needed
Hated
Cherished
Always there
Not when you need it
Infinite
If only everything else was.

Ode to Sleep

-yawn-
I like sleep
Sleep is good
Everyone should sleep
Yes they should

=]

Thank you, thank you! -bows-

I'm

So i had originally planned on keeping the line by line format
But, for things going on right now that isnt going to work -nods-
Terrible day.
The end!

"I'm Running Out Of Amazing Titles, Oopsie!"

Symbolism + SecondHand Seranade

I hate you symbolic music that speaks to my heart!
And perfectly outlines how im feeling about a situation
I hate you deeply.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm staring at the glass in front of me
Is it half empty?
Have I ruined all you've given me?
I know I've been selfish, I know I've been foolish
But look through that and you will see
That I'll do better.
I know, baby I can do better.

[Chorus]
If you leave me tonight
I'll wake up alone
Don't tell me I will make it on my own.
Don't leave me tonight
This heart of stone will sink 'til it dies
If you leave me tonight.

Sometimes I stare at you while you are sleeping
I listen to your breathing
Amazed how I somehow managed to
Sweep you off of your feet girl
Your perfect little feet girl
I took for granted what you do
But I'll do better.
I know, baby I can do better.

[Chorus]
If you leave me tonight
I'll wake up alone
Don't tell me I will make it on my own.
Don't leave me tonight
This heart of stone will sink 'til it dies
If you leave me tonight.

And don't you know, My heart is pumping
Oh, it's putting up the fight.
And I've got this feeling
That everything's alright.

Don't you see?
I'm not the only one for you
But you're the only one for me.
If you leave me tonight
I'll wake up alone.

[Chorus]
If you leave me tonight
I'll wake up alone
Don't tell me I will make it on my own.
Don't leave me tonight
This heart of stone will sink 'til it dies
If you leave me tonight. Don't leave me tonight.

Hrm

Anti-Climatic
Not much to speak out


"Hrm! Hrm! NO WOMAN ITS HERMAPHRODITES!"

I love you Samantha

This Is Named: Unnamed Blog

Being the bigger person
The one who through all the hurt
Can see the good
Ignoring every fiber of my being
Telling me to yell scream kick bite
Telling me to hurt you like you hurt me
Trying so so hard
To be a good person
The right kind of person
The one who does whats best for others

I hate it.
I hate being a good person
I hate doing the right thing
I want to yell
I want to scream kick and bite
I want to hurt you like you hurt me
I want to wish the worst upon you

But i wont
Im gonna go and be the bigger person.

Oh, A Blog Fight? Well Alrighty Then

You know, this blog post used to be a long rant about you
But im not going to sink to your level
I'm a big girl
Not a freaking immature idiot
So, go ahead be as angry as you please
But I'm gonna be the mature one
No point in sinking to your level.

Thanks!

Gar-Blan-Ski

You are quite the shocker
Everytime I think i get you
You come up with a Whole new thing
I tried to keep up
But you didnt really give me much of a chance to
Thats cool, I'm used to it
-nods-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Tiny heart, stuck inside yourself
When will you open up for me?
I love you so, I wanna meet you again
Before one of us must go.

Your lips touched every hand but mine
If you choose me, I'm waiting for you
If you choose me, I'm waiting for you
Always Waiting

Tiny heart, you're not by yourself
When will you recognize the beat?
Of my own heart, grieving in your hand
You crush me when you run that way.

Your lips touched every hand but mine
If you choose me, I'm waiting for you
If you choose me, I'm waiting for you
Always Waiting

You will never know what you have done to me
And you will never know losing love for me
You will never know a single day alone.

Tiny heart, stuck inside yourself
When will you open up?

Your lips touched every hand but mine
If you choose me, I'm waiting for you
If you choose me, I'm waiting for you
Always Waiting

When you choose me, I'm waiting for you.
Always waiting."

Petterer!

I'm not her
You're not him
But at least I fucking try.

Haha
Oh
Youuuuu're mature

"Petterer Piperer! Can I Have Some of those DEEEELISH Buggies?"

Where Is Las Vegas?

Wowza's
People who just go out of their way to be an ass sure do surprise me
You know, until it happens so often you come to expect it
Buhjeebuzus you'd expect them to hide it instead of just letting it flare out
Well at least they're honest?

"Where is Las Vegas? And How Are the Emu Pies There?"

Meaty Bo. Beaty

Feels Great.
Feels Good.
Cant get much better than this
Oh wait
Hello you.

"Meaty Bo. Beaty, Just What Have You Gotten Yourself Into this Time?"

Excuse Me Mr. Devil?

Holy shizmonkeys
Happy
Fantabulous
Cuddle
Tree!
Cheeks
Caterpillar
Noseys
Poseys
Hurrah
=]

Well then
Thats interesting
Dont care
Be mature
Idiocy
Maturity
Not your level

Lalalal
BAM
Levity
Thats not levity!
PAUSE
GO
Yessirreedoodle

"Excuse Me Mr. Devil? May I Borrow Some of that Fire in Your Eyes?"

Hurray for Kayla

Kayla: Alls fair in love and war right?

Yes maam it is.

Oh Lady Bug

Abandoned
Left out
Blamed
Moved on
Without

Excitement
Happiness
Assured
Comfortable

Music
Cars not Kers
Labor pains
Rustling
Dog tongues
Pineapples

"Oh Lady Bug, Wherefor Art Thou Gingerbread?"

Am I Living?

New Things
Fears
Unknown
Should I Know?
Do I want to know?
Do I deserve to know?

Old Things
Strong
Making decisions
Thinking of me
Am I selfish?

Right and wrong
Am I doing whats right?
Does right even exist?
Or is it just
Right now?

Is change good?
Or have I been lied to my whole life?


"Am I Living, Or Am I Just Existing?"

Peter, Where Is Your Mother?

Well, I feel like i should start writing on my blog again. So I will, though i doubt many will read. But I'll start tomorrow, very sleepy.